Building SISU in our COVID-19 Departure from Finland
By Alicia Fedewa
Published on June 10, 2020
I woke up on a Thursday morning in March, expecting it to be just like any other Thursday since my family arrived in Jyväskylä eight weeks ago. The kids (9 and 5 years) and I were going to have breakfast in our pajamas and then get our winter gear on for the school day. I was going to walk my youngest to päiväkoti (daycare) while my older daughter continued on a few blocks further to her elementary school. Yet this didn’t turn out to be any other Thursday. As I casually checked my email, I noticed a panicked subject line from my best friend who was set to arrive in Helsinki on Sunday. “I’m not coming to Finland!” read the subject heading. As I read further through the email, she simply stated that the Trump administration’s ban on European travel had created a panic and she didn’t want to risk coming to Finland. I had no idea what she was even referring to as the ban had been issued while the kids and I were sleeping. As I caught up on the news, it became apparent to me that there was a lot of confusion about the European travel ban instituted by the U.S.
As I walked my children to school, I couldn’t help but wonder what impact the ban would have on my work in Finland. In fact, I had already felt the impact of COVID-19 in my school visits. Just three days earlier I was observing a classroom and the teacher had told me that international visitors would not be allowed to visit schools for an undetermined amount of time. I wasn’t clear on what this meant but soon realized there was also confusion in Jyväskylä as not all international visitors were banned at that time, only those from certain parts of Asia and Italy. Yet I had received two emails from teachers saying that my visits to their schools in the subsequent week would have to be cancelled. It felt like an incredibly uncertain time.
By the time I got back to my apartment that afternoon for lunch, I had received an email from my home university that I needed to return to the States as soon as possible. My head was spinning. I remember contacting the Fulbright Finland Foundation at that time to let them know what my university was requesting as I tried to understand what this meant for my project. Within an hour, I was in contact with the International Office at the university and they were explaining that Kentucky was being proactive in requiring all international students and scholars to return home as soon as possible. When I asked the international officer what would happen if I did not return, the answer was unsettling. I was told that this would not be an option I’d want to pursue as they did not think I would be able to return home should the Trump administration extend the ban further to American citizens. I was told I could be put in touch with the provost of the university to make my case to stay. I asked the officer what they would do in my situation and he calmly stated that he would “get on the next plane.” I felt torn, but only because I was resisting what I knew to be true: that my ability to work in the schools in Finland was going to be over for a while and likely through the time I had intended to stay on my award. Having been granted permission by the Fulbright Finland Foundation to do what I felt best to do, I decided on Thursday night I would return home when I was able to get a flight. Less than 24 hours later, my children and I were on a train to Helsinki.
The 24 hours from finding out about the travel ban to getting on the train for Helsinki is a blur. I remember walking my children to school with a heavy heart. They absolutely loved their schools. My oldest had made a good friend in her class and was sad to leave her. I didn’t have time to give a proper goodbye to anyone at the university as my host was in Lapland for the week. Our plans to get together the following week wouldn’t happen. But all of the unfinished business was overshadowed by the logistics of making sure we made our train on time. I had to pack up our suitcases and pack up bags of food, toiletries, and our bicycles. I rounded up our library books and returned my office key to the university after dropping my kids off for their last day of school. I tearfully hugged my son’s teacher. She spoke little English and I little Finnish, but our goodbye was heart felt. I cannot tell you how grateful I was for my daughter’s friend and her family. They truly made our leave possible. She took all of the food, clothes, and our bicycles for us. They took us to the train station and gave us a warm goodbye.
My children and I caught the train and arrived in Helsinki. We found our hotel which happened to be one of the best hotels we had stayed in throughout our time in Finland as it was so kid-friendly, greeting my children with two large boxes of toys to play with in the hotel room.
We woke up around 5:30 am the next morning and arrived at the airport. I don’t recall many people wearing masks at that time and feeling rather cramped in the plane home. Our flight to Amsterdam had plenty of room but our flight to Detroit was almost full. I recall a lady coughing in line behind me and saying to those in the proximity, “it’s just allergies.” There was tension and paranoia in the air. We were all just exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally.
When we landed in Detroit, we had to wait in line for over 2.5 hours to get our temperatures taken, to complete questionnaires, and to have an individual interview about our whereabouts over the last several months. My son had to use the restroom and we were unable to get out of line. At this point I do recall feeling incredibly homesick for Finland as this is an aspect of their culture that stood out to me: their family lines in the airport and child-friendly facilities throughout the country just made it easier to be a parent. In Detroit, procedures were procedures, regardless of whether you had a 5 year old bladder. Since the COVID-19 procedure was so lengthy, we missed our initial flight to Lexington and therefore waited in Detroit for over 5 hours to take the next flight. We were three of eight people on the entire plane. After 18 hours of travel, my son finally fell asleep on my lap during a 45 minute flight. He woke up to find himself in Lexington when we arrived shortly before midnight.
"There is so much to be grateful for though, so I continue to choose gratitude for the time I was able to spend there and the friends we made during our short time in Finland."
I remember feeling grateful to have made it home safely, but continued to struggle with a profound sense of loss during those initial few weeks in quarantine. It was bittersweet. In such an uncertain time, I was grateful to be home with my husband and family, and yet I had come to love Finland and the little life we had started there. I was struck by the simplicity of life in Finland and have tried my best to maintain as much as that as possible in a culture that is much more fast-paced and outcome oriented. There is so much to be grateful for though, so I continue to choose gratitude for the time I was able to spend there and the friends we made during our short time in Finland. My daughter still talks with her friend every week and my son often mentions how much he misses the K-Market, particularly the Moomin mints. Our visit to Finland may have been cut short, but I can say without a doubt that my children and I left with an experience we won’t forget.
